Stuck…where do I go from here?

Posted on March 10, 2020 by ashley @ socially awkward bookworm

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“stop holding on, if it’s holding you back, then let it go; your grass will always be the greenest if you let it grow” 🌼🐝🌿

This is one of my favorite pictures that I’ve taken recently. You can find cool picture opportunities anywhere! Example: I took this photo in the garden section of Home Depot, lol. I’m going to do a series of picture posts; I have a ton of pictures to share. I went to upload them all into one post and it ended up being 60+ pictures, so I decided I’ll break it up into multiple posts instead. I’m going to start working on those this week, so that by next week I can start posting them.

Other than these posts, I’ve been feeling a little bit stuck in terms of my blog, my bookstagram, and essentially my life as well. I am trying to get back into bookstagram, but I have no idea what kind of pictures to post and what theme I want to go for. When I first started my bookstagram I had so many ideas and I was having a lot of fun with it. I guess since I haven’t really been doing it consistently over the last couple years, I forgot and lost my creativity with that. With the blog, I’m not sure what kind of content I should post. It’s kind of frustrating!

I think when I start to feel uninspired is usually when I quit things and I don’t want to quit blogging! I actually really love it and love all the friends I’ve made and continue to make every day, but sometimes I feel like I’m boring everyone with the same content over and over again. You know, it’s not even just blogging and bookstagram. I have an online journal that I write about things happening in my life (it’s more of personal journal and I’ve been using it since I was in high school) and I really have nothing to write in my own personal journal either.

I think it has more to do with how I’ve been feeling about myself lately. I have all of these negative feelings (and thoughts) about myself over the last 3-4 months that I’ve never had before. It’s so weird experiencing this because I used to always think so highly of myself. Now I question whether that was even real or if I was pretending/lying to myself all my life. The end months of 2019 messed with my self-confidence and shattered who I thought I was. I only feel like a fraction of who I was before and that scares me! I want to get back to my old self, where I was always positive and always happy. I want to get out of this negative headspace. Some days I think I am finally out of it and then others I feel right back in there. Sigh.

I’ve been obsessed with this song “Hangnail” by Rationale. I feel like I relate to it a lot lately. I just feel down about myself and my life these days. Here’s the song if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/O9sTYRUkSHc

“I wish I had this poetic poise, an articulate finesse.
I’m too clumsy and the words escape me.
I’m hazy and any passing thought can displace me.”

I think this negative headspace; these thoughts and these feelings are pouring into everything in my life, including blogging. I think this is where so much of my “stuck” feeling comes from too. Maybe I can Google search some ideas for both bookstagram and my blog and see what I can come up with! I did bookmark an awesome blog post from Kelly from Another Book in the Wall about “how to blog when you haven’t read anything new“, so I may also go back and reference her post to get some ideas as well. Anything you guys want to see on my blog? It doesn’t have to be book related!

Here are my social media accounts if you’re interested in being friends outside of the amazing blogosphere. I usually post regularly on my personal Instagram account.

Goodreads: heyyitsashley_
Twitter: whoa_itsashley
Pinterest: lalalaitsashley
Instagram: heyyitsashley – personal Instagram account
Bookstagram: foreverbookish_ – book Instagram account (underscore after “bookish”)

I will catch up with all of your posts and reply to comments later today or possibly tomorrow. I’m really hoping to try and get some reading in today. 🙂

In case you missed it;
Andy Reads|| Maybe Someday.
March TBR (Maybe).
Wrap Up|| February.

I hope you have a great day!

ashleyblack

Random Ramble.

Posted on February 24, 2015 by ashley @ socially awkward bookworm

I haven’t done a post since Friday and I’ve been kind of holding off until I get my new computer on Wednesday. It’ll be so nice doing posts from my own computer. I hate asking to borrow computers or trying to do posts from my phone that I usually give up on and edit at work.

I started to read Dorothy Must Die and then four chapters in I started to feel guilty for starting it and not having finished Yes Please like I told myself I would. So I stopped reading it and went back to Amy Poehler’s book.

Breaking all the rules before I felt guilty about it…

Currently my started but not finished books are (not including Dorothy Must Die):

+ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
+ Lost in Babylon (Seven Wonders Book 2) by Peter Lerangis
+ Endgame: The Calling by James Frey

I really didn’t want to add to the list and make it end up being uncontrollable. It’s not even that I didn’t like these books, I DO! I just found other books that sounded a bit better, sigh. I am currently 140 pages from being done with Yes Please, so I can do it! FYI: Yes Please is great, so don’t let me discourage you. I really like it, I just have been in the mood for a different type of book. I will have these three books finished by the end of this year and cross my fingers I don’t add to this list.

It’s almost the end of the month, so I’ll be doing my February recap of the books I read. That’s always exciting. I like to look back on all the books I’ve read. It feels pretty cool, you know? This month was a good month too.

My birthday is next Tuesday (March 3rd)! I’ll be 27…I swear I still feel like a child most of the time. I have no plans, but that’s okay. I don’t usually do much, to be honest. I really just want some cake. Maybe ice cream. Definitely cake though.

I bought The Night Circus the other day at Target. I really should not be allowed in stores that sell books. I also bought a bunch of random things to go on my new desk at home. You can never have enough paper clips, post it notes, and thumbtacks that you’ll never use! You might use them, but I know I won’t.

I hinted (I told, lol) to my boyfriend that I really wanted a whiteboard (that is magnetic) and a cork board for the walls by my desk. Will I ever use them? Probably not. Would it look insanely cute? Of course. Our room isn’t cluttered enough, obviously. Probably 95% of the things in our apartment is mine.

I collect way too many things and I love cute things, so you know, I just buy everything even if I don’t need it or ever use it. Buying books is not my only problem, not at all. I’m pretty sure my kitten and my dog have more toys than the average human child. They don’t touch them, but I keep buying them.

I might be a little crazy. “Little” might be an understatement too. Today I burned my frozen pizza in the oven and got insanely sad about it. I told my boyfriend I sucked at life and he told me I just sucked at cooking. So there’s that.

Anyway…I’ll leave you with a picture, because everyone loves pictures. I was hanging out with pelicans the other day, because it’s kind of cool. He also thought I had fish…sadly, he was mistaken.

My dog is currently snoring right now and it’s pretty cute. I’m off to read until the boyfriend gets home. We have a date with Sam, Dean, and Castiel; can’t keep my boys waiting!

Have you read any good books recently? Is there any books you’ve started, but haven’t finished?

Forever cursed.

Posted on February 2, 2015 by ashley @ socially awkward bookworm

I told myself that I would try really hard not to spend a lot of money on books and I would wait until I got caught up with more important things (rent and bills; you know…grown up stuff – I still wish I was in Neverland), but I bought a book.

FYI: I currently have at least a dozen books at home I haven’t read yet and I have a dozen books I bought on my Kindle app I haven’t read yet. I also have some I borrowed from the library, which are due back in two weeks. Oh yeah…not to mention the books sitting on my iPad from Kindle Unlimited. Books for days…maybe even months.

I was going to Target to buy pillows; you can never have too many pillows (or books). Of course I look at all the books (and pointed out all the books I wanted to my mom – my birthday is in a month 😉 ). I carried around Amy Poehler’s book Yes Please throughout the store debating in my head if I needed it right now. I’ve been wanting to read this book. I am obsessed with Parks & Recreation and have been since the day it aired. I also LOVE Amy Poehler, so I knew I needed it.

Sadly though, I put the book back. It was $21 and I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend that money. I paid for my pillows and left the store. Random side note: I actually went to Target and left with what I came there for and nothing more. I usually end up buying close to the entire store.Target is a weakness of mine. I’m not sure if you’re ready to see my other weakness and what I can spend hundreds of dollars on without even thinking twice about it.

I came home and looked at the book on Amazon and the Kindle version was only $12, so I bought it. I’m horrible, lol. I really wanted it and I decided since I was good and didn’t buy any books last month, I could at least buy one book this month. At least that’s how I justified it to myself, lol.

I have soooo many books to read that I bought over the last couple of years. Curse. It’s a curse. I’m pretty sure most, if not all, book lovers go through this very same thing. I want to own all the books! Hard copies, e-books, all books! I have more books than I do clothes. I buy more books than anything else; besides concert tickets. I buy probably just as many concert tickets as I do books. It’s a constant struggle loving books so much, especially on the debit card.

My boyfriend says he is in a relationship with a book. Seven years later and he’s still around though. lol ❤ Maybe that’s why we get along and have been together so long. He’s addicted to Call of Duty and I’m addicted to books. It gives him an excuse to play his Xbox all night and it gives me an excuse to read all night. Most girls would probably hate that their boyfriend plays video games all the time, but I find it to be a great thing when I really want to read. When I say I want to read, he has no problem turning his game on. hah.

I went to the beach again today. My last blog post I shared a bunch of pictures I took on Saturday. Saturday adventure #2. Today the sun was shining more and it wasn’t as cold. I actually laid out this time and read. I think I even got a little bit of a sunburn! Florida life. 🙂

The boyfriend gets home from work in an hour, so that gives me an hour to either read more of Artemis Fowl or read more of Yes Please. I have never been this bad about starting a book and stopping to read something else. Toward the end of last year and carrying on to this year I have been bad with this.

I’m making February the month of finishing all the books I’ve started and never finished. I have three books I’ve started that I haven’t finished. I used to HATE doing that. I used to make myself push through it and then I started buying more and more books and wanting to read the newest books I bought. Starting today…no more buying books (hahaha – hopefully) until I finish and read the books I’ve already bought.

Are you the type of person that is always buying more books even when you have tons to still read?