Hey!
It’s been almost two weeks since my last update. I’ve been in a blogging slump, honestly. I’ve also been stuck in my head a little bit. So I’ve been trying to distract myself with reading, TV, games on my iPad, or recently the new Pokémon Sword game on Nintendo Switch. This year has been so weird for me and it’s kind of hard to explain. I guess maybe because there has been so many changes this year. A big one having moved four hours away from my family and not seeing them every single day.
I also feel like my anxiety has gotten so much worse too, which really sucks. I can’t really even tell people about it, because then I just get told I’m making a big deal or I need to “grow up” and to “stop being scared of the world”. 🙄 If it was that easy, then I would have stopped being this way a long time ago. It’s hard and it sucks. I feel lost and not very supported in my real life (outside of the blogging world). Dealing with things on your own is hard sometimes. Not having someone to talk to is hard sometimes. That’s why I get stuck in my head sometimes.
I don’t know if any of this made sense and I’m sorry if it didn’t. This has just been a really weird year for me and most of the time I just can’t put it into words. A lot of great things happened too, but I think my mental health took a hit this year. I’ve never experienced most of these feelings before or if I have, never as bad. It’s new and has been an adjustment, I guess. So I that’s why I’ve been distant around here and also in my real life. It’s been all about distracting myself this year, because if I don’t then I just constantly think about everything that bothers me and it makes me sad.
I decorated my house for Christmas, which I love. Here’s a couple pictures of the outside. Just did a couple touches of Christmas outside. I think we might put up some Christmas lights on our house. I really want to go all out Clark Griswold style, but I doubt that happens LOL. We also put up the Christmas tree too. I haven’t been able to take a good picture of it yet.
And here is a quick little reading update of what I read recently and what I may read next.
I recently finished reading Autoboyography and The Unhoneymooners both by Christina Lauren. By the way, I just realized that Christina Lauren is TWO PEOPLE! Anyway, I really enjoyed both of these books so much. I need to read more from Christina Lauren.
I think in my last reading update I said I was going to read Regretting You next, but I ended up reading The Unhoneymooners instead since it was a library book that was going to be returned soon. SOOO, I may be picking up Regretting You today. I am supposed to be getting my copy of The Queen of Nothing (I got the black Barnes & Noble edition) today or tomorrow, so I may also be picking that one up soon too. I’m actually scared to read The Queen of Nothing, because I really thought The Wicked King wasn’t that great. I guess we’ll see what happens!
Well, that’s all for this post. I just wanted to give a quick update on why I haven’t been around too much. I try to hop on to catch up with you guys at least once a week, so I will at some point this week. 🙂
In case you missed it;
Mini Review|| The Wives.
I hope you have a great day!
socially awkward bookworm. 
Ashley, your mental health is SO important. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to and that people generally brush it off as nothing. That’s so wrong – if you need someone to talk to, please email me! It’s important for you to take care of your mental health, and I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling. Moving away from family is really hard and will take time to cope. You’re not alone, please know that!
I love your Christmas doormat!
I need to read Autoboyography. I love Christina Lauren!
Girl I completely understand! It’s important to take that time to help ground yourself and find happiness. I also struggle with anxiety (and truthfully 2019 was a hellish year) so if you ever want to vent or just chat I’m here for you.
I hope everything in going to work out for you in the end. Suffering from anxiety is no fun, and it’s not something you “just deal with” and “get over it”. I totally get your feeling of being lost and unsupported. Hopefully the online community can help you with that a bit. Though I’m also sure you are going to find a way to feel better over time.
Also, my Christmas tree is already up as well!! Love the welcome mat!
Your house looks so festive!
Anxiety sucks. Sorry you’re going through that.
Oh, hun! I hope you’ll feel better soon (I know.. easier said than done!).
I think everyone is a scared of the world in their own way and it’s not correct to dismiss other people’s feelings.
From my own experience, I can say that changes in life are not easy to deal with (good or bad)! A few years back my family and me went through a very rough year, with lots of things happening at the same time, and I had this feeling that I couldn’t cope anymore. I had to take a step back from the things I was doing and focus my energy on solving all family problems, and it wasn’t easy. I was constantly stressed, I didn’t have anyone to lean on. It was tough. But things change! And now, as things calmed down, I feel so much better but also prepared to face these kind of issues again (if needed).
Speaking about books! 😀 I also just recently found out that Christina Lauren was actualy Christina AND Lauren, ahaha
I’m sorry this year has sucked 😦 I understand a little bit how you feel, and people dismissing my feelings always make me feel worse.
I hope it’ll change for you soon! Personally, I love to escape in books and Autoboyography and the Unhoneymooners are definitely the type of books I like 🙂
Pingback: Mini Review|| Regretting You. | socially awkward bookworm.
So sorry about your anxiety. I wish people were more understanding. I recently read the Unhoneymooners and loved it.
It’s so frustrating when people make comments about mental health, like with anxiety or depression, and just say “just be happy” or “look at all the good things in your life.” It’s not something we can control, or we wouldn’t be struggling. That’s like telling a person with asthma to just breathe all the air around them. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. It can be so hard, I understand! ❤
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with anxiety issues. I, too, had a crummy 2019 (almost lost my mom; my cat (19) died. We had him since he was 3 months old 😞).
I suffer with a lot of chronic pain and that causes terrible anxiety. I constantly do stuff to distract me from all I have going on in my head, too. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by it I feel like I might have a panic attack, but since I used to suffer with those a long, long time ago I know I don’t want to go through that again so I make myself calm down. I find that doing my best to take one day at a time really helps. Once we start thinking too far ahead about things it gets us in trouble. Also, I try to pray and meditate on scriptural verses I find comforting, like Philippians 4:6, 7. Not sure if you’re a bible reader, but if you are, look those verses up. They’re very comforting.💕
I hope you begin to get some relief from the mental anguish. Hang in there…you’re going to be okay. 🤗